An update to this crazy life!

Well I guess it is obvious that I have not been on in awhile. Things around here can get a little crazy! 

      Since, my last post my son Justin has graduated the 8th grade and is on his way to High School at LHS and I am so excited. He had decided to take part in the amazing Band program And is now going to play the Trumpet( listening to him practice is awesome but I hope he catches on this as fast as he did with the flute, this one is much louder and a lot harder on the ears,LOL!) I Know from here things will come at me fast, like dating, driving, parties, ect hopefully we are ready with all the responsibility that comes with this, too! Only time will tell.

       Also, my daughter Carrington has graduated from the 5th grade and is on her way to the next phase in her school career "Middle School" and this should also be exciting! She to, is going to be in Band! She has a deep love for music! I am ready for this phase in our lives (I Think) that we will get to see the young lady she will become and how these new relationships will help her grow!

    James, my oldest son is Home school through is High school years, and he is very frustrated that he has to school in the summer to catch up to where kids his age are. It is very hard, but I know if he wants it bad enough he can make it!

   Now on to Monica, she has been gone to South Africa for the last 30 days. Wow, I didn’t realize how much I would miss her( She is that ray of sunshine that you feel on your face when you’re at the beach and I have been missing mine) To the point I had to figure out how to put her in the out of sight out of mind, but it was proven unsuccessful!  She went there to marry off her oldest sister Ashley, and from what I hear it went very well, and Now Ashley is off to Paris for her Honeymoon! So now, Monica is finally back and I get to go get her at 3:30 today, (I am literally counting down the minutes)... We are going to have her for a week and well it will be amazing for sure!

   So, Now that we are getting into some kind of routine I hope to stay more on top of my Blogging hobbies.

I hope all of you that take the time to read my blog are have a wonderful summer so far and enjoy every moment!

Sitting in the background frustrated...

Hey guys sorry it's been awhile since my last blog, but things around here have been a little crazy!

So, it's now getting to the end of the school year, and everyone wants their summer schedule. This is the part of the year that is the hardest for me. Given how I have told you all in the past that we are a blended family( so Michael has his ex and daughter) And I have( my 2 ex's and three children) All which are going in different direction. Yet, I would be the only common denominator in this entire mix of craziness! I have to say I am about to pull my hair out. I try so hard to make everyone happy, and give them what they what with regards to time with there(Kids and their parents), friends and activities, and all the other adults and their jobs, but it is getting to a point that I am going to have to say "NO".

      As I sit here and watch everyone else, moving forward in there lives( with bettering their education, job position or even just working outside the home) I see me just sitting here making it easy for everyone else to capture their dreams while I sit here and take care of the kids, clean the house and work a job without any room to grow and little to no recognition. I am becoming angry with the fact that everyone else thinks that their job or life is more important then mine. Not to mention I am supposed to do all this with a smile on my face, ummmmm I think not any longer people!

   Well being a  GREAT MOM is very important. I get a lot of flack in many different direction, Like not being Married, one of my kids can't have most of their friends come over because they are all from religious back ground. But I self sacrifice my own happiness and even my own beliefs because my children need insurance, and their dads don't have insurance, and for me to get a job, "I can't" because my son needs me at home to help him make the right choices, there isn't anyone else for that job and if there is they haven't knocked on my door, to help other then the a couple of  hours every other weekend. Hahaha, what a joke.

   I also get flack for being the kind of parent that makes the hard calls, like who my kids are around, or where they go, what movies they watch, music they listen, too! I am some how always the bad guy. But I have to think that hating me now only means I am doing my job as a parent. Those of you that think being the cool parents will get you respect, You need a reality check, they will not respect you later.. And given they kind of need us, they will deal with what comes at them as children, screw it up now and when they are adults they will want nothing to do with you! I am patient I will wait for later to have my adult kids as friends.


I know this seems a little choppy with subjects, but I guess I am little frustrated and so I am just laying out my feeling in raw form!

***** My Weekend*****

 You know, when you are working all week and you are thinking of all the things you want to do in the weekend that, we cram it so full of fun things to do that we don't seem to every really get to relax, Well  this was My weekend and even though it was crammed it was awesome.

1.  Friday: We had Justin's MPA in Ocala! It was amazing.. So proud of all the kids. They worked really hard to get here, so I hope they scored well...

2. While Carrington, Justin and I  were at MPA, Monica, James and Michael were at home playing Hide and Seek on scooters and Golf cart. Though they had a blast We are now down a scooter and a golf cart, But they had a BLAST( Most  important)!

3. Saturday: Our community where we live throws a monthly coffee & donuts. Well,  I was given this job for the next 5 months, while Clare goes back home to Vermont. Its pretty neat, other then we have to be up at 6:30 am on a weekend. It's where all the the neighbors get to come out and socialize, and have a little breakfast together( it's donation based). after I cleaned up, I totalled up the money made for this event and told Clare she said it was the "most ever made in the history of coffee and donuts"! Yay me:) After this was over we went shopping and then out to dinner!

3. Then Sunday, Michael and the kids decided that they wanted to celebrate my birthday, so all the kids could be here. Boy was this a day unexpected, I received breakfast, without clean up, coffee without making it, so very nice it was. Then they sat me down, And gave me the most beautiful card, and they own special notes to me. I received a candle that smells amazing, necklace that I love with matching earrings, and a gift card to Cheesecake Factory( favorite place ever). So I hug and Kiss them all. as I sit here and think how thoughtful they all are , I realize that Michael is walking around me with this huge box, I think another gift really ( I don't really think I have been this good or maybe I have). So I open it and it's"hubcaps" for my Van (nice)... I am sure my face was like what is this, hahaha! So they tell me to take them out and look at them. As, I open them I realize that  there are only 2 in the box, so I pull them out and there in inside this box is an Ipad 2! Man am I a lucky Girl!

I have to say: I am loved, by  all around me and that is the greatest feeling one can feel!


I voted Best Weekend Ever!!!!!!

My Dad ( Bruce Alkire)

 I think today I would like to take the time to write about my Dad!

                                   Determined

                                   Admired

                                   Devoted

                These are three words that describe my DAD.

                                

Bruce Dale Alkire (51) General Manager of a division in a company called Carpenter Co. in Richmond, Va. he is the husband of Suzanne Finley Alkire (of 27 years) He is a father of 4 children (Stephanie 34, Matt 24, Amanda 22 and Aj 19) He has spent the last 30 years building his career, so that he could help all of us achieve our hopes and dreams in the future. And I am sure that he also wants to someday Retire & Travel.

My dad is a highly intelligent, motivated, loyal, rational, admirable, devoted and completely dedicated! Those are many qualities that are hard to find in a person today. And I am lucky enough to say I have him as a Lead to Follow.

Raising us kids, had its moments of joy and heart ache, at least I can only speak for me. I was a very hard kid to love, In fact I could make life so trying at times that I am sure if he were here giving me input right now he would say he wanted to "beat me" a few times, lol. It's funny now that I am grown.

Well when I grew in to my teen years I decided to make life even harder for myself and everyone around me (obviously I didn't realize this at the time.) I through out all the ugly saying like: I hate you, you don't love me, and I even ran away (a few times). I thought in my own mind things will never be good between my dad and I. And the one thing I wanted most in my life was a dad that understood me for me and all my whirlwinds that came with me, but at that point it just wasn’t going to happen.

Then I met a man (Michael J. Cox) who is now my fiancé. He taught me how to better me, in a way that allows me to see my dad differently. And at that moment I realized that this whole time I thought my dad was the problem, He wasn't, it was me this entire time.

So after the last five years or so, my dad and I have become two peas in a pod. And it is amazing, because he understands me in way that many other don't. Even though he has kids that are older than mine, some of the situations are not that far off. So when things with the kids happen, he actually has some advice to give or a positive pep talk that makes things seem like they will get better, like when I was 5, I get a booboo, he would kiss it & put a band-aid on it. All better!

He has inspired me to become a logical and reasonable person, more so then ever before. Everybody needs a person in which holds them accountable for choices they make in their live , And my Dad  and Michael are the ones that do that for me. I really look forward to what the future has to offer us. Thank you for taking time out of your day to be here for me!




Hey Dad,

Thank you for all that you do for us all. We love you! You are amazing!

Quote for today:

A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~ Maria Robinson

Ex partners "What are they thinking"

EX'S Trying to understand "Why they do what they do". As a mother of three children (one with one dad and two with another) Choices I made as a young adult that should have been thought out better. See at the time I thought I was in love, And now suffer the consequences in the dealings with two dads that don't think about  their choices & how they affect their children; I am sure many of you can relate to this topic.

I know, We as parents that truly care about the core feelings of our children, know that talking to them is critical part in raising well rounded children. But, when doing that there are Cardinal Rules that you must follow:

• Never speak ill about the father or (mother in some cases).
• Never use the children to hurt the other or for self gain.
• Never argue in front of the kids (because it only makes them feel as though they have done something wrong) when deciding on what plans to make or who gets what time ,ect.
• Never post your business on social website about information in which your children don't know about, if that business is inappropriate(think about weather or not they really need to know) or if it's life changing think if it should be told to them in private(that way if there is a negative reaction or question you can answer it in private). Example: if you decide to get engaged to someone, you might want to tell your children about your plans & maybe ask them how they feel about it before posting it on a social website.
• This one to me is one of the most important RULES " LEAD BY EXAMPLE"...( if you do not want them to make CHOICES in their lives that are hurtful to themselves or others, unhealthy to their self esteem, or will create a downhill spiral to even worse choices, then don't make them yourself.
• Another important one: Think about "Who" you have around your children. If this person you choose to have as a Friend , Date or even Marry one day- make sure that this person will be a person that impacts your children in a postive way! Ask yourself is this person  going in a direction that you could or would want to see you own child going in the direction of.. One quote I love is that" It's take several positive people to bring one person up, but it only takes one negative person to bring you down!

As a step-parent of two girls, I have had to learn hard lessons on what is good and what is not. I have had to learn to deal with the ugly consequences that followed the bad choices.( i made many mistake with the oldest step-daughter. So, with reguards to my other step-daughter(this only a title which we don't use but for your understanding) I have taken a different approach. POSTIVE, POSTIVE, POSTIVE!!!! It's seems to be working!

Children want to make us proud, and most of them want to be like their parent(s). Good or Bad, so if we can make conscience decision as parents to proceed with life in the right direction guess what, Most of our children will follow.

Great quotes to follow as parents: Whether your a weekend parent or full time.

• "The best way to raise positive children in a negative world is to have positive ... Other people and things can stop you temporarily. You're the only one who can do it permanently. ... Ability can take you the top, but it takes character to keep you there. ... sooner or later the effort will bring forth the reward"- Zig Ziglar

• Things change for the better when we take responsibility for our own ... Get rid of the negative people in your life - surround yourself with positive people who believe in you and inspire you.

                                                                                                                      With  hopes of happiness ,

                                                                                                                       Stephanie

 

One Choice meets Tragedy ( Seath Tyler Jackson)

Outraged, I find myself! Ever since I heard about the brutal attack of Seath Tyler Jackson, Life just has not been the same for me. Yet I have never met him or his family this tragedy feels as though he was one of my own children.

I have really been thinking about the whole scenario, I mean these 4 kids and 2 adults(questionable adults) didn't just wake up one morning and say" Today I am going to commit Murder", So this takes me back to before this could have happened and the Question to be asked is Where were the parents, guardians of the 4 minors involved??? I mean people don't wake up from a sane world and commit murder there are signs well before things like this happen.

So, it takes me to the next  question,  Why weren't the signs seen by the people in which are responsible for these children? My opinion would be because:

•  So many people are so concerned about making sure that the bills are paid.
•  Putting  food is on the table
•  Making sure that their OWN needs are being met.

 I am sure there are many more reasons, BUT the problem comes in when: We only have so many hours in a day and when we can't  fit in the time to talk to our children, Tragedies like this can happen!

I know that I spend a lot of time talking to my children very openly, to insure that I know how they are feeling and try to answer any questions they may have HONESTLY. I try to understand their opinions about life and their journey through it. To not pass things off as not important, just because it's not something I wouldn't put on my list of priorities,Well their list is supposed to be different from ours(lighter in many ways).


So I guess I will end with this, I know that meeting the bills are important and so is food on the table, But if you are not taking the time to talk to your kids, then some of you (us) will no longer be working our fingers to the bone to supply food or housing for our Families (children) we will be working to hire ATTORNEYS for defend our children from choices that could have been prevented by again I will say  taking the time to TALK to them!


To the JACKSON FAMILY

·         When your heart gets broken you sort of start to see cracks in everything. I'm convinced that tragedy wants to harden us and our mission is never to let it.”

                                                                             Your loss will never be forgotten!!!