Ex partners "What are they thinking"

EX'S Trying to understand "Why they do what they do". As a mother of three children (one with one dad and two with another) Choices I made as a young adult that should have been thought out better. See at the time I thought I was in love, And now suffer the consequences in the dealings with two dads that don't think about  their choices & how they affect their children; I am sure many of you can relate to this topic.

I know, We as parents that truly care about the core feelings of our children, know that talking to them is critical part in raising well rounded children. But, when doing that there are Cardinal Rules that you must follow:

• Never speak ill about the father or (mother in some cases).
• Never use the children to hurt the other or for self gain.
• Never argue in front of the kids (because it only makes them feel as though they have done something wrong) when deciding on what plans to make or who gets what time ,ect.
• Never post your business on social website about information in which your children don't know about, if that business is inappropriate(think about weather or not they really need to know) or if it's life changing think if it should be told to them in private(that way if there is a negative reaction or question you can answer it in private). Example: if you decide to get engaged to someone, you might want to tell your children about your plans & maybe ask them how they feel about it before posting it on a social website.
• This one to me is one of the most important RULES " LEAD BY EXAMPLE"...( if you do not want them to make CHOICES in their lives that are hurtful to themselves or others, unhealthy to their self esteem, or will create a downhill spiral to even worse choices, then don't make them yourself.
• Another important one: Think about "Who" you have around your children. If this person you choose to have as a Friend , Date or even Marry one day- make sure that this person will be a person that impacts your children in a postive way! Ask yourself is this person  going in a direction that you could or would want to see you own child going in the direction of.. One quote I love is that" It's take several positive people to bring one person up, but it only takes one negative person to bring you down!

As a step-parent of two girls, I have had to learn hard lessons on what is good and what is not. I have had to learn to deal with the ugly consequences that followed the bad choices.( i made many mistake with the oldest step-daughter. So, with reguards to my other step-daughter(this only a title which we don't use but for your understanding) I have taken a different approach. POSTIVE, POSTIVE, POSTIVE!!!! It's seems to be working!

Children want to make us proud, and most of them want to be like their parent(s). Good or Bad, so if we can make conscience decision as parents to proceed with life in the right direction guess what, Most of our children will follow.

Great quotes to follow as parents: Whether your a weekend parent or full time.

• "The best way to raise positive children in a negative world is to have positive ... Other people and things can stop you temporarily. You're the only one who can do it permanently. ... Ability can take you the top, but it takes character to keep you there. ... sooner or later the effort will bring forth the reward"- Zig Ziglar

• Things change for the better when we take responsibility for our own ... Get rid of the negative people in your life - surround yourself with positive people who believe in you and inspire you.

                                                                                                                      With  hopes of happiness ,

                                                                                                                       Stephanie