Sitting in the background frustrated...

Hey guys sorry it's been awhile since my last blog, but things around here have been a little crazy!

So, it's now getting to the end of the school year, and everyone wants their summer schedule. This is the part of the year that is the hardest for me. Given how I have told you all in the past that we are a blended family( so Michael has his ex and daughter) And I have( my 2 ex's and three children) All which are going in different direction. Yet, I would be the only common denominator in this entire mix of craziness! I have to say I am about to pull my hair out. I try so hard to make everyone happy, and give them what they what with regards to time with there(Kids and their parents), friends and activities, and all the other adults and their jobs, but it is getting to a point that I am going to have to say "NO".

      As I sit here and watch everyone else, moving forward in there lives( with bettering their education, job position or even just working outside the home) I see me just sitting here making it easy for everyone else to capture their dreams while I sit here and take care of the kids, clean the house and work a job without any room to grow and little to no recognition. I am becoming angry with the fact that everyone else thinks that their job or life is more important then mine. Not to mention I am supposed to do all this with a smile on my face, ummmmm I think not any longer people!

   Well being a  GREAT MOM is very important. I get a lot of flack in many different direction, Like not being Married, one of my kids can't have most of their friends come over because they are all from religious back ground. But I self sacrifice my own happiness and even my own beliefs because my children need insurance, and their dads don't have insurance, and for me to get a job, "I can't" because my son needs me at home to help him make the right choices, there isn't anyone else for that job and if there is they haven't knocked on my door, to help other then the a couple of  hours every other weekend. Hahaha, what a joke.

   I also get flack for being the kind of parent that makes the hard calls, like who my kids are around, or where they go, what movies they watch, music they listen, too! I am some how always the bad guy. But I have to think that hating me now only means I am doing my job as a parent. Those of you that think being the cool parents will get you respect, You need a reality check, they will not respect you later.. And given they kind of need us, they will deal with what comes at them as children, screw it up now and when they are adults they will want nothing to do with you! I am patient I will wait for later to have my adult kids as friends.


I know this seems a little choppy with subjects, but I guess I am little frustrated and so I am just laying out my feeling in raw form!