Sitting in the background frustrated...

Hey guys sorry it's been awhile since my last blog, but things around here have been a little crazy!

So, it's now getting to the end of the school year, and everyone wants their summer schedule. This is the part of the year that is the hardest for me. Given how I have told you all in the past that we are a blended family( so Michael has his ex and daughter) And I have( my 2 ex's and three children) All which are going in different direction. Yet, I would be the only common denominator in this entire mix of craziness! I have to say I am about to pull my hair out. I try so hard to make everyone happy, and give them what they what with regards to time with there(Kids and their parents), friends and activities, and all the other adults and their jobs, but it is getting to a point that I am going to have to say "NO".

      As I sit here and watch everyone else, moving forward in there lives( with bettering their education, job position or even just working outside the home) I see me just sitting here making it easy for everyone else to capture their dreams while I sit here and take care of the kids, clean the house and work a job without any room to grow and little to no recognition. I am becoming angry with the fact that everyone else thinks that their job or life is more important then mine. Not to mention I am supposed to do all this with a smile on my face, ummmmm I think not any longer people!

   Well being a  GREAT MOM is very important. I get a lot of flack in many different direction, Like not being Married, one of my kids can't have most of their friends come over because they are all from religious back ground. But I self sacrifice my own happiness and even my own beliefs because my children need insurance, and their dads don't have insurance, and for me to get a job, "I can't" because my son needs me at home to help him make the right choices, there isn't anyone else for that job and if there is they haven't knocked on my door, to help other then the a couple of  hours every other weekend. Hahaha, what a joke.

   I also get flack for being the kind of parent that makes the hard calls, like who my kids are around, or where they go, what movies they watch, music they listen, too! I am some how always the bad guy. But I have to think that hating me now only means I am doing my job as a parent. Those of you that think being the cool parents will get you respect, You need a reality check, they will not respect you later.. And given they kind of need us, they will deal with what comes at them as children, screw it up now and when they are adults they will want nothing to do with you! I am patient I will wait for later to have my adult kids as friends.


I know this seems a little choppy with subjects, but I guess I am little frustrated and so I am just laying out my feeling in raw form!

***** My Weekend*****

 You know, when you are working all week and you are thinking of all the things you want to do in the weekend that, we cram it so full of fun things to do that we don't seem to every really get to relax, Well  this was My weekend and even though it was crammed it was awesome.

1.  Friday: We had Justin's MPA in Ocala! It was amazing.. So proud of all the kids. They worked really hard to get here, so I hope they scored well...

2. While Carrington, Justin and I  were at MPA, Monica, James and Michael were at home playing Hide and Seek on scooters and Golf cart. Though they had a blast We are now down a scooter and a golf cart, But they had a BLAST( Most  important)!

3. Saturday: Our community where we live throws a monthly coffee & donuts. Well,  I was given this job for the next 5 months, while Clare goes back home to Vermont. Its pretty neat, other then we have to be up at 6:30 am on a weekend. It's where all the the neighbors get to come out and socialize, and have a little breakfast together( it's donation based). after I cleaned up, I totalled up the money made for this event and told Clare she said it was the "most ever made in the history of coffee and donuts"! Yay me:) After this was over we went shopping and then out to dinner!

3. Then Sunday, Michael and the kids decided that they wanted to celebrate my birthday, so all the kids could be here. Boy was this a day unexpected, I received breakfast, without clean up, coffee without making it, so very nice it was. Then they sat me down, And gave me the most beautiful card, and they own special notes to me. I received a candle that smells amazing, necklace that I love with matching earrings, and a gift card to Cheesecake Factory( favorite place ever). So I hug and Kiss them all. as I sit here and think how thoughtful they all are , I realize that Michael is walking around me with this huge box, I think another gift really ( I don't really think I have been this good or maybe I have). So I open it and it's"hubcaps" for my Van (nice)... I am sure my face was like what is this, hahaha! So they tell me to take them out and look at them. As, I open them I realize that  there are only 2 in the box, so I pull them out and there in inside this box is an Ipad 2! Man am I a lucky Girl!

I have to say: I am loved, by  all around me and that is the greatest feeling one can feel!


I voted Best Weekend Ever!!!!!!